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The Aardvark Tipped Over
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| | Subject: | Roots | | Time: | 12:46 pm |
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| I've been busy the past few weeks. It makes me miss school, at least that was an organized busy.
We spent my birthday and some extra days in Shepherdstown, doing the walk through of the new place, and getting some furniture. Since my parents thought I was going to London, they basically gave away three full rooms of furniture that I could have stored in my unit up on 45 until I moved in to a place. Really nice stuff too. Luckily, I've had a complete kitchen since junior year, so money that would have been spent on the kitchen could go to my bedroom and living room. The Room Store actually had some good deals, and my coffee table is eco friendly. It's funny the things I didn't realize went in to moving, even though I've moved around so much in my life. My birthday was spent buying a washer and dryer...a pricey necessity that I didn't even think about. Everything should be delivered next week while we're there, but what isn't, John will get while I'm back in Texas.
We came to Rhode Island for a family reunion for mom's side of the family. My second cousins from Ireland were in town, and brought their kids...with adorable little Irish brogues. I had a really good time at the reunion. My mom's cousins are so warm and welcoming...and loud. We also caught up with some friends of mine and my cousin Lisa, who is getting married next year. After not seeing her for three years we had so much to talk about, and she's asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
Moving around as a kid definitely made me miss out on big family time. For the longest time it was just mom, dad and I. Being in Maryland was closer, and we started going to mom's family's yearly Easter Egg Hunt on Palm Sunday every couple of years - but never a big family reunion like this. The best part was hearing people talk about Nannie, Gramp and my Uncle John, and about how much they miss them and how wonderful parts of the family they were. It made me really proud of where I come from.
I feel that way whenever I come back here. It's comfortable, and definitely a place I can come back to if I need to. I'm hoping to bring John to the Palm Sunday Easter Egg Hunt in the spring.
We'll be back in Shepherdstown on the 27th, closing on my house on the 28th and spending the 27th-31st sitting around the house waiting for people to come in and do the electric and water and deliver furniture and appliances.
I'm pretty excited, and hopeful that at least Becca can live with me starting in September.
That's all really. Things are falling into place. I can't seem to find a job in the communications field, so I think I'm going to go with my backup plan and substitute teach. I know I can work in Washington county without teacher certification and get $85 a day because of my bachelors, and one of the sisters in the SAI alumnae chapter I am joining who teaches in Jefferson county and seems to think I could sub without certification there too, the benefit there is knowing a few teachers who could request me to sub for them if they know they'll have to take a day off, I guess. I might try and do writing tutoring for some extra money. It'll be tight, but I'll be able to start English classes at Shepherd part-time in January, so it'll be easy to make that "full-time" to "flexible."
That's all...more Rhode Island fun ahead of me. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Subject: | what's been what these days | | Time: | 10:47 pm |
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| well, graduation happened. pomp and circumstance, funny hats and robes. i have a piece of paper with my name on it to show for my efforts. the original plan was a family trip to france and england, a summer in texas and then off across the pond for my year abroad.
we cancelled the france trip when we realized that me packing up life, flying to texas and turning around and going to europe four days later for 14 days was a bit much. so, i stayed in shepherdstown an extra week and john and i drove my car down here to texas. we took four days and saw some pretty neat things (including graceland in memphis!) and i loved it.
so, john left. i obviously know no one here and all the quiet gave me time to think. the more i thought about graduate school and london, i was more and more anxious. so, i figured it was my intuition telling me that right now might not be the best time for me to go to graduate school, that a few years in the field would do me good ad help me to decide if that's really the path i want to take. so, i applied for a job in frederick. but, then i realized what my life would be like as a start-up journalist, and i realized it wasn't me at all...and that i was actually hoping frederick wouldn't call me back. the writing i want to do is free lance, and you can't make a living off of that.
i kept telling myself that i just want to teach college. which is when i realized i've wanted to teach this entire time. i almost started out at shepherd as an english ed major, almost switched to english ed but figured it would be a waste of time since i'd eventually need a master's anyway. so...
i'm moving back to west virginia. shepherdstown, in a townhouse that i'm renting from my parents that they're buying with the money we made off of the house in maryland. i'm applying for a few jobs, and i applied to shepherd's ma in teaching english. it will probably take me about a year to catch up on the english classes i need, and i need to pass praxis I and II before i can officially be accepted to the master's program, but what i've heard so far, they'll work with me as a get over all of those hurdles.
visiting everyone there last week made me realize how much i need to be there. shepherdstown has definitely become more of a home than anyplace i have ever lived. i'm so happy there, and i feel so much more at ease with this decision.
i don't like texas at all, and knowing there is a house, more school and hopefully a job waiting for me back there makes texas a little bit more bearable.
so...we'll see what happens next. i'll update on my train adventure later...it needs an entry of its own. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | pomp and circumstance | | Time: | 11:46 am |
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| today...i graduate. i suppose i graduated officially when i got my grades on tuesday that affirmed all systems go...but i guess it just doesn't feel real until i put on another cap and gown and walk across the stage, silently praying i don't fall.
it seems surreal. this week has been ridiculously emotional, and busier than anticipated.
here's to the next step. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | i'm finished | | Time: | 06:08 pm |
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| i presented my senior project last night, which was the last thing i had to do for my undergraduate time here at shepherd. i think that my presentation went really well, actually, which was a relief, considering i couldn't breathe, eat or sleep at all the night and day before. my mom came in from houston for the big show and she took john and gordon and i out to dinner afterwards. i took her to the airport today, and missed hilary and chelsea clinton speaking on the front steps of one of the campus buildings on the main street through town. it was originally just chelsea, but her campaign announced early this morning that hilary would be joining her. the roads were shut off when i left at 11:30 to take my mom to bwi, and apparently it was pretty interesting and well attended. i'm on the obama bandwagon myself, but it'll be interesting seeing what hilary's presence here does to the wv democratic primary next week. and also just sort of exciting in general. major politicians and public figures don't really just roll into shepherdstown to hang out with the students and townies.
this all being said, i've been thinking a lot this past week about shepherd, shepherdstown and my time here the past four years. quite frankly, i've had about as amazing experience as i could possibly have had at shepherd, and i definitely made the right decision in coming here. shepherd has a lot of quirks, and a lot of its own issues, but i think that's the case for most colleges, communities and pretty much anywhere you'll end up in your life. there isn't a utopia, but for me, shepherd has been pretty damn close. being able to get involved with so many different organizations (i've had bouts with habitat for humanity, shepherd democrats, sga, the picket, different minors in different departments and of course sai and all of the music things) really helped me to learn a lot about myself and what i want out of my life. plus, i have a lot of practical experience to use in the "real world" and better friends than i ever could have imagined. i'm going to miss this place. so much.
my last sai meeting is tonight, too. i'm pretty crushed. i've spent most of the afternoon procrastinating on organizing the vice president, membership binder for the upcoming officer because i'm just not ready to relinquish my power or say goodbye to my sisters. i didn't think i'd be this emotional about it. and four years ago, i definitely didn't think i'd be a part of any greek organization. but, i contacted the president of the houston alumnae chapter and said i'd like to be able to reach out to some people in the area, and figured sisters would be the best place to look, so hopefully they can entertain me over the summer before i head to london and affiliate with the international chapter.
i leave for houston on the 18th...the day after graduation. oh, pomp and circumstance.
i went to the lost dog today, and sat in the sunshine with john and his friend kristin. it was beautiful.
*sigh*...here comes the next step. hope everyone gets through finals okay. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | quick early thoughts | | Time: | 07:22 am |
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| i forgot how much i love my fraternity until last night while we were sitting around meghan's kitchen giggling and cutting up an unnecessary amount of strawberries, watermelon, marinating an insane amount of chicken breasts and stacking up donuts on silver platters. today's province day, and i'm quite excited that we are hosting my last province day (even though i've complained about the stress of preparation). these girls give me both ulcers and make me smile on a regular basis.
i'm going to cry at initiation. no doubt about it.
there are exactly two weeks left in my undergraduate career, and i had no clue they would come this quickly. i'm prepared. i just don't know if i'm ready. (juno reference, anyone?) i also thought the last few weeks would be fun.
wrong.
i don't want to look at a computer screen for a little bit after the 17th.
shower time. love. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | update | | Time: | 04:16 pm |
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| I GOT IN...
This girl, pending graduation with a 3.0 GPA...will be a graduate student at the University of Westminster starting in September.
I'm still in shock. Thanks for all the support.
Look out, London... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "that's the way" by led zeppelin | | Current Location: | birch 312 | | Subject: | and in 10 days | | Time: | 08:26 pm |
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| after an amazing spring break, i received a second rejection letter from boston. with my rejections now 2 out of the three applications i decided to send out at this juncture in my meek career, i wasn't very hopeful and decided that i'd stay in shepherdstown a year. get a little apartment all to myself, find a job in frederick, hagerstown or dc, do my thing, take the GRE again with john and apply for either fall or spring admission into some schools, lease depending.
then, the e-mail came.
university of westminster (yeah, the london one) e-mailed me last week, saying that i've made it to the third part of the admissions process and they would like someone from the program to interview me to get to know me a little more and give me a chance to ask some questions about the program that the website and other reading material may not have answered. suddenly. hope. they were strongly considering my application.
i had my interview today with a very nice, quick speaking british lady. she asked about me, why i want to write, what i'd like to gain from a possible year and master's study abroad and if i'd ever considered staying in europe after my master's to work. she, in turn, explained to me that i'd be able to live in graduate housing on campus that they set aside for international students in an apartment type situation where i'd have my own room and share a living room and kitchen with three other students, asked how i planned to pay for the experience, told me some of the ins and outs of coming from america to an expensive city like london and said "you wouldn't be the only american student, there's another girl who is coming from seattle."
the whole conversation was quite promising and exciting all in one. she said i'll know in the next ten days.
so...in ten days, i'll know if i'll spend the next year living and working in west virginia...or getting my master's degree in london.
i don't think those two roads get any more different. i'm not sure how i feel about it.
five weeks till graduation...that's all i have to say about that.
peace | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| spring break trip with the english department to san francisco, salinas and monterey has been...in one word or less...incredible.
san francisco is the greatest city i've ever visited. i don't want to get on the plane back to cranky, closed-minded dulles airport tomorrow morning, i wish dr. nixon wouldn't get in trouble with the administration if i just...didn't get on the plane, and i didn't have half a semester left to finish...it'd just be silly not to finish at this point.
oh...and i don't know if i mentioned or not...but...all of my things at my md house will be moved to texas next week, which means i'll probably never be back to harford county...and i was rejected from syracuse, but made it to the second part of the review process for the university of westminster and should have my decision from boston university waiting on me when i get home to west virginia.
but...after this trip, everything in my life seems serene. i'll figure it out...i'll do SOMETHING.
we're going to the monterey bay aquarium today, and heading back to san francisco after that for dinner and one last night in the city before we head east tomorrow at 11. i get to see sea otters. :)
peace and love. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | holding off one more week | | Time: | 01:00 am |
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| i can't tell if i'm thankful for this or not...
but, we're supposed to get some killer snow storm. the status of this at this exact moment i'm not sure...there aren't streetlights outside my window to suggest snow and ice, but it did start snowing on my way back from wal mart when my mom called to tell me that the great house packing extravaganza of 2008 would be postponed. she told my dad not to even try to come back from texas, as the air ports will probably be a huge mess and told me not to even attempt to get to the highway. so...next saturday i'm going and putting the last nine years of my life in garbage bags, donation bags and boxes.
i've been progressively getting busier, which i'm thankful for...except for the whole when i'm busy i never see anyone and am stuck in my room thing. i enjoy writing for the picket, because i do get a good bit of liberty with what i do, and i'm flattered that they want me to do so much...but four stories in a week is a bit much when i have a midterm on a book on monday and a senior project that i should probably start researching. they were angry when i turned down a talking heads story about gas prices. i have no opinion of gas prices...i walk everywhere possible.
regardless, i suppose things are going well. i completely lost it to my dad on tuesday night. completely. but, talking to him sort of did settle things. he said that if i don't get into grad school both him and mom know that i really don't want to have to move to texas if i really can't find anything there for me and that they would support me until i get officially on my feet wherever in this world i decide to settle. but...if i didn't have to postpone my education, i'd be satisfied.
eh. i should be reading for history of tv instead of watching it, and 'scott baio is 46 and pregnant' is pretty much awful...but...i may just wear my pjs inside out tonight and see what happens. everyone seems to think we'll have a snow day tomorrow...but...shepherd's cancellation policy is a little whack at times.
so...if anyone's in har/co march 1 and 2, let me know...i might need a dinner date or something to make me happier and not covered in dust.
love | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | "let music charm me last on earth, and greet me first in heaven" | | Time: | 04:15 am |
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| well.
i figured out what is missing. tonight, when, of all things, i was playing rock band and getting a little too into what i was doing.
i miss the clarinet. i miss wind ensemble...practicing...playing. tomorrow starts a new focus on the guitar. it has to. i can't stay without music in my life. it's just a bad idea.
writing is great...and it's what i love, my calling and yadda yadda...but music. that's probably a passion. i wish i could have put wind ensemble in my schedule this semester. my clarinet hasn't moved from where i set it down when i moved back in.
:( and i can't sleep. *sigh*
despite all of this, i mean...things ARE going well. they really are. i couldn't ask for a better last semester. except for that whole music thing. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Journey.... | | Current Location: | Almost Heaven, West Virginia | | Subject: | "diversity is what makes this whole trip worth the while" | | Time: | 04:42 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/moody.gif) restless |
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| My dad wrote me a note and put it with one of my Christmas gifts this past year. I put it in my planner where I could read it whenever I needed to, but forgot it was there. I read it today. It changed my whole outlook on how I felt when I woke up on this quite dreary Tuesday. And, I sort of just wanted to share...so it said:
Merry Christmas!
This is going to be real dangerous...writing a note to a literary loved one, less than half my age, when the most creative successful endeavor in my life was figuring out that mushrooms are a really great add to any pizza. Not to mention, someone who I absolutely admire on so many fronts. Where to begin?
This is a monumental occasion. You are embarking on your last semester of your undergraduate studies. I knew a long time ago that your journey would take you on a different, and thank the stars, more creative path than the one I chose. Diversity is what makes this whole trip worth the while, so go for it with gusto! So far, your decisions are beyond question.
At the end of the day, there are so few precious things that are really important. When I see your smile, witness your passion, and see how much others truly enjoy you just being you, I knew what is really important. Remember that if you can put your head on the pillow every night knowing you did your best and treated everyone with the same respect you deserve, the day was a complete success.
Keep a clear head as you move toward the next set of decisions. It is like building a home. A great foundation is critical to a solid building, but you still have to pay attention to all the details after the concrete has been laid. I have no doubt you will continue on a successful path, sure with some twists and turns, but nothing that can not be managed. Go with your gut, be happy, be yourself, and keep having fun.
Most importantly, be Bethany - your Mommy and Daddy are counting on that!
Your loving Dad
That is all. Have a great day. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "Every Picture Tells a Story" by Rod Stewart | | Current Location: | Almost Heaven, West Virginia | | Subject: | what's lately. | | Time: | 01:38 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/confused.gif) confused |
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| as the move to texas gets more official, i get more upset about it. my parents officially have the house down there, and as soon as the new mortgage financing goes through and the inspection passes and they sign the contract at the end of february, my dad will move in, grab a few cheap pieces of furniture and get his car shipped and live in texas permanently. until then, he's in and out of hotels as the weeks pass, leaving on sunday afternoon and flying back to be with my mom in maryland late friday night.
meanwhile, my mom sold our ravens' season tickets and made a deal with the guy working on our house that he'd complete all of the necessary things we need to do. i need to go home a few weekends and decide what goes to good will, what goes to texas and what goes into storage for the days after i graduate from shepherd. it's a lot to do, and it's all happening fast. i called my dad tonight on his new texas cell phone since the battery in his maryland cell phone died. i cried when he didn't answer. not because he didn't answer, but because i looked down and my cell phone caller id said TEXAS in bold font.
i always said i wouldn't go back to harford county after i graduated. not out of any sort of pretension, there just simply isn't much in the way of...new music/rock/new media journalism in harford county maryland. i need to go back up north. and...hopefully i'll go to grad school right off the bat, but, even if i don't, destination wouldn't be har/co.
so, why am i so upset about this?
i guess right now it's all of the ambiguity that this holds. when i realized how miserable my mom is right now all by herself in our house in maryland, i realized i could never be as selfish as to ask her to stay in that house alone until may 17, so i told her this, and she said a lot was relying on timing right now, but that she appreciated my thoughts on the subject. i honestly don't know where home will be come may 17, the places i'll stay while i look for jobs or while i wait for graduate school to start have almost a 1500 mile difference and a time zone change between them.
and...visting home won't exactly be home...it'll be visiting my parents in the new community where i'm sure to never truly know where i'm going.
i just really don't know how this is supposed to make me feel. our other moves directly applied to me...i was four and 12. i'm 21 now...and about to have a bachelor's degree. and i don't know where my home is.
but, school is going well. the boys next door introduced me to rock band last weekend, and i'm embarassed to say the number of hours we spent between saturday and monday playing. i've gotten pretty good at the bass though. i'm sending my applications to boston university and syracuse university on either saturday or monday. everything's all set there. these applications were the hardest, the other three after this should be smooth sailing.
i haven't been sleeping well, so i may try and get some rest. sleepytime tea, my pillows and "the audacity of hope" keep looking at me from my bed with longing. they need me more than livejournal does right now. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | don't mess with... | | Time: | 11:56 pm |
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| well...
my parents are moving to texas. dad starts his new job on monday. i don't know how to feel about this.
peace | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | hm... | | Time: | 10:41 am |
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| well, back to shepherd today...for my last semester of undergrad.
it's exciting to know that new adventures possibly wait on the horizon of graduation...but also sad. i have amazing friends there, and it's come to be the only place where i've really felt a home. the whole last semester graduation thing is quite bittersweet. but...i think this semester will be a good one. it has to be, right?
it was good seeing the people i saw over break, especially considering it will probably be my last extended stay in harford county...ever. my parents are moving, are 90% sure of it, and will be selling the house in may when i'm out, know where i'll be living and can go through all my things. but, if dad gets this job, he's going right away and living in corporate housing...mom will visit him and join him officially in may.
things don't stop changing...ever...do they? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| oh, and i've decided to apply to grad school after all.
so...my gre scores suck...but what do i have to lose? my fear of rejection has held me back enough in my life...this all needs to change, that's what 2008 is for. not being afraid. i have one month to get my act together and send said act to syracuse university, boston university, emerson college and marshall university.
here goes nothin'...
hope everyone has an excellent 2008 | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | merry christmas! | | Time: | 09:20 pm |
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| Merry Christmas everyone!
And, in the spirit of the season...expand your vocabulary and donate food to people who need it:
http://www.freerice.com
Every word you get right in the little quiz donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations to help fight world hunger, and it's free...and you can play as long and as much as you want.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday with family and friends...and that feeling continues throughout 2008.
On Earth, peace, goodwill towards men... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i've hit emotional rock bottom with him...
the good news? nowhere to go but up at this point. i just wish he would get out of my head, i need the space he is taking up, i only have so much. i have things like school, friends, family and other...erm...prospects to think about. i wish i could have just held up my end of that "eff off." nope. i like being nice, but it puts me in tough positions sometimes. no more drama in 08, that's for damn sure.
oh well. want more substance? http://tremmy.blogspot.com
hello winter break, how i missed thee. and now...sleepy time tea and catching up on all the hours of sleep shepherd owes me. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | and so it goes... | | Time: | 11:29 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/worried.gif) anxious |
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| i'm in the lab. i've been in the lab since 9:30 this morning, rendering the same clip. fuck it. the rest is going to be a crappy preview render. i'm so finished pretending to be good at animation.
i do like my film though, i really do. i'm interested in seeing what the class will think, since the reaction in 310 last night was...interesting. but, then again everything is interesting over there. i'll get it up on youtube for the world to see, and be uncomfortable about it.
what's been good since i last wrote?
thanksgiving was. thanksgiving was quite nice, actually. i loved being at the paper for 8 hours. i really felt like i finally made that missing connection with some of the reporters, and i felt appreciated there. apparently, the editor has been telling people how fabuous i am, and i'm definitely not trying to toot my own horn. i had two stories in yesterday's edition of the paper, and one was on the front page. it was quite nice, actually. sometimes those ego boosts are what you need to get you through a dull, dreary, unmotivated finals week.
what else? oh, i got to catch up with some harford countians that i hadn't seen in at least a year. that was nice as well.
personal relationships are on the mend. i think pedro and i may finally be able to be friends without any sort of scathing hatred...which is nice on a number of levels. maybe the scathing hatred was coming from me, but...it could have also been at all angles. one thing is for sure: this semester has been a trip. from feeling totally abandoned to appreciated in a few weeks...it's a good thing, i suppose. i think life may finally get back to abnormal for my *gulp* last semester at shepherd.
speaking of...let's not mention that. i'm scared shitless. thinking about staying at shepherd though, to get my masters of arts in teaching...before i get my masters in journalism...the mat is something i can do part time, and would really help out with the whole college professor thing. of course. that is if the program gets off the ground like it is supposed to in the spring...and if i even qualify. this is all what i'll bring up with dr. hannah in january.
i don't think this is selling myself short...i really think it will help me in my long term goals...and i'm really not ready to leave shepherdstown and all of its magically consistent inconsistencies. *sigh*
film time is soon.
i'm afraid of next semester...not the course load, but of the unknown and the ties. i'll say it again: i fit in here.
i feel nerdy updating my livejournal in the lab. so...off i go. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | salsa slipping | | Time: | 12:10 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/awake.gif) awake |
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| hello.
today, i was at food lion picking a few things up (like gingerbread coffeemate! tis the season! yum!), like i usually do on tuesdays. tuesdays has become the day i run out of things, and i'm not quite sure why. i was walking up one of the asiles to get more sliced turkey from the deli for my lunch-at-random-time-while-running on monday and wednesday. apparently, the stocker had knocked over a jar of salsa and was in the process of cleaning it up and walked away from it. they don't make "caution, salsa on floor" signs and i guess i'm not responsible enough to look at my feet when i walk. i stepped in the salsa and slipped. i fell...fairly hard, but was too embarassed to tell anyone. my pants were covered in salsa just as one would suspect. i felt like an idiot...and now it's hilarious. more than anything else, it's ironic. ...i'm allergic to cayenne pepper, and therefore am allergic to most salsas.
such was my day. i was sleepy until about 11, which is exactly what happened last night and was the reason i didn't get to bed until 5 in the morning. it's nice being awake all hours of the night when i have things to do, but eventually, i run out of assignments for that particular day, or can only do so much planning and thinking about editing when the lab is closed, you know? it's lame sometimes, having a major where i have to schedule homework time based on when i can go to the computer lab and rely on people to do their job. eh...
i blame the salsa incident on my lack of sleep...as well as this entry.
thanksgiving break is next week. i'll be holding down the fort in the apartment here for a few days, as i have to do 4 full-time days at my internship sunday through wednesday to get the hours i need by the end of the semester. i'll probably be the only one on campus, or close to it, since we don't get a fall break and everyone is itching to escape. i'll get home sometime wednesday night and will be home until sunday nov. 25. if anyone wants to get together, i'm game.
peace. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
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The Aardvark Tipped Over
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gracefulardvark's journal